Sometimes you don't need to preach the whole life word by word to make the children become obedient.
There are ways they learn better from you.
And it's no news that children learn from what they see you do. But also what you make them feel it's right to be done.
I remember that when I was between twelve and fifteen. I have some unnoticed attitudes. Although, I refused to show them because of who my parents are. And that has really been one of my coping mechanisms.
One of these attitudes is ANGER.
I personally don't like people identifying me with this. And that's why I do take my time to react to issues.
It got to a point that I was becoming aggressive at home with the way I react to my siblings little messes. I actually felt it was a sign of maturity and seniority. But with time and several lessons from my parents stories. I learned a lot that changed my perception about life.
Let me share one with you.
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At a time when my mum was serving as an apprentice as a fashioning designer.
Her boss gave her some amount of money to keep. But to be on a safer side, she had to keep it with an elderly person who stays around.
When the boss requested for the money, the person she gave the money to wasn't around. And the boss flared up.
He decided to beat my mum for this.
And this happened in the midst of her juniors. It got to a point that her fingers were almost broken.
Her palms became torn and almost all her body was filled with bloodstains.
After being terribly beaten. She found it difficult to raise those hands.
While she was raining in tears, her juniors were petting her, and trying to get her to recover from the pain.
She told them to just help her tie and clean the hands. That she would manage it to finish the clothes she had to sew because the customers will come for it anytime soon.
In my mind, I was like "God forbid. I will never return to that task".
And that was exactly how thjunioror apprentices also felt.
So I tried to know why she did this. And she said she knew she just had to be patient with what her boss did. And what happened should not affect the customer's satisfaction.
Then I asked, what about the money?
She said she returned it when the person came around.
After listening to this story, I promised myself to make sure I keep being patient in the phase of difficult situations.
And when something related happened to me 12 years ago during my computer training. I remembered this story and put the lessons to practice.
Most times we don't see issues and handle them with care. And we blame ourselves for the outcome.
Many parents, teachers and caregivers do think that beating and nagging will correct the child. When just a story of empathy will work things out.
Ever since then, I also changed the way I relate with my siblings. And at a time they were even surprised that I changed.
Children would love to learn and know why you did what you did.
With this you are creating a value system for them. And this best time to get this established is between their teens and twenties.
▶Inspire Your Children.
They Are Willing To Learn Values From You Stories.
©Afeez Olalekan Saka
#TeensCoach
#ParentingEducationAdvocate
#TeachSDGsAmbassador
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